Embracing Solitude and Quiet Moments for Clarity and Self-Care

If any of you are like me there are so many moments that create hours, hours that create days, days that create weeks, where you soon feel overwhelmed with the constant of daily life. Your mind becomes so clouded you yearn for a moment of solitude, quiet, peace! When I finally found a still moment I found myself struggling. Even when there was silence around me my mind would spin in a way that felt like the noise in my head was louder than anything I'd ever hear around me. I tried so many things to clear my head but the best option seemed to fill my time with tasks, after all, most of what I would think of in moments of silence were all of the things I could be doing to be "more productive". But contrary to what my mind led me to believe, when I learned to take time for myself I found myself even more effective, efficient, and at peace in the other activities I had going on in my life.

There are a few methods that I use that have helped me find clarity in a busy life. Each of these options helped at different times and in different seasons as well as for different reasons. Still, each in their unique way contributed to allowing me to find moments of peace not just with the activity I was involved in but clarity in my mind as well!

"Music"

Now this might be everyone's go-to when it comes to drowning out the noise of a busy life. I used a bit of a different approach. Typically listening to my favorite song or playlist would be the perfect way to change my mood or frustration with all of the activities around me but I found that it just added to the chaos at times. So I changed what I was listening to. I found subtle playlists that allowed me to drown out the silence without overwhelming me with additional noise that would cause my mind to be incredibly overstimulated. I switched to playlists like non-lyrical options like smooth jazz, nature sounds with soft music (especially a rainy day ambiance 😉), lofi music playlists, and one of my new favorite jazz all-stars. Now these can all be found on places such as YouTube, Pandora, and Spotify. These allowed me to slow down and experience the gentle space I was seeking

"Yoga"

Yoga. This one was new for me. Not in terms of working out as I had tried yoga before, but what I focused on beyond just figuring out how I was supposed to warp my body into the odd shape that the instructor was demonstrating was concentration. Before I was so determined to work out to lose weight, tone, and overall just feel healthier but I realized yoga became more than that. I began to listen to the words from my instructor when they mentioned clearing your mind and focusing on the moment that you are in, instead of being distracted by so many other things. This is easier said than done. If you have kids running around, lawn care happening outside your window, or the triggering sound from a virtual phone call from work ringing on your computer, trying to concentrate becomes increasingly difficult. But what I learned was that it took practice. I had to stick to it to learn to focus on the here and be in the moment during this experience. This might look different for you, you might choose a different workout method but whatever this looks like for you read through to the end and I will share a key I have discovered to make sure you can use any of these methods to their fullest potential.

"Journaling"

Get it out! This is one of the biggest struggles that I had, to get my thoughts and emotions out of my head. Once something popped into my mind I couldn't help from spinning into so many other thoughts, ideas, scenarios, and emotions! It would get so overwhelming to bounce from thought to thought I just needed a way to sort it all out. So I started to write them down. Whatever came to mind whenever it came to mind, I let it out of my mind so that I didn't have to feel like I needed to keep track of it. I started a notes section in my phone that ended up being a running list based on topics. One note was for feelings, one could be tasks that I needed to do and another, random thoughts or scenarios I thought of. All of it, written down (typed actually). This allowed me to create some sort of order to every thought that came across my mind, get it out on paper, and allow myself to not have to remember it all. Even at night, tossing and turning thinking of everything I needed to do the next day or how a situation during the day could have turned out differently with a different response. Instead of pulling out my phone and allowing myself to get distracted by everything else I have on there, I put a small notepad that allowed me to quickly jot down ideas or thoughts that I could later reference which allowed me to worry less about remembering ultimate leading to a better nights sleep.

"Quiet Hour"

This might look different for everyone. Find what works for you. You might use one of the ideas noted above for your time, or something completely different. But this is a dedicated you time! For me, this looked like reading through a few passages in the Bible or devotional, reading a few other books that I have in my library, baking, journaling, or listening to music or a podcast lying on the floor for no other reason but to listen. Whatever it was, dedicating a moment of the day to whatever I wanted to do was a focused activity without multitasking. Game changer! This allowed me to spend one hour of my day doing something I truly enjoyed. At times this only happened a few times a week or 20 minutes a day instead of an hour but whatever it was made a huge difference in the response I had to the other demanding task of the day.

Now there is a key to all of this that would allow any of these activities to be most effective. Allow yourself to take the moment, guilt-free. This is key! I never felt true relief when I felt guilty about the time I was sacrificing from other activities to experience this moment of solitude. I had to learn to allow myself to have a moment and enjoy it and that be ok. Once I did this, I felt an incredible difference in those moments and how it affected the rest of my day.

I share these ideas not as a professional or master of self-care but as someone who has tried plenty of options seeking that moment of solitude, quiet, and ultimately self-care, and am grateful to have found a sweet spot.

As I experience these moments that reoccur, I thought it would be as simple as putting on a pair of glasses to fix the busy life that I was experiencing, but I quickly learned as the seasons of life change there is a constant need for adaptation and maybe even trying these activities and revisiting these options a few times as life changes. Find what works for you and let me know some of your favorite playlists and which moment of solitude you have embraced!

🫶🏽 Courtney